Blessed

We tend to look at blessings as things like a promotion at work, a new relationship, or your kid making the honor roll.

Now, those certianly could be blessings in people’s lives, but in my own life, tonight I was reminded that even crap fests like PANDAS, can be blessings.

You see, one of my daughter’s AHG leaders shared with me that one of her daughter’s died when she was 5 1/2. From Strep. Now, it sounds like it was several things that just added up to make one terrible storm. A storm that despite the storms I have weathered on my own life, I cannot even begin to imagine. I can’t even wrap my brain around it.

You know, I think a big part of what makes PANDAS so difficult, is is that so much of the battle is fought behind closed doors. Much of the journey is hidden away from friends and family, so that when the ugly parts of this disease are talked about or seen, they are usually dismissed or ignored. And, in the end, I have to remind myself that, that’s ok.

Most kids act worse with their parents, not because they have bad parents, but because their kids feel safe enough to be real with them.

Bring a single parent, I usually get a whole lot of real, as do my parents, since we literally live in their backyard, and I’ll be honest with you, those “real” times are tough. Sometimes, during one of those bad days, I wish I could hand her off to one of those naysayers. I have locked myself in my bathroom with a pint of Halo Top ice cream more then a few times. But, as my friend shared with about her incredible loss, I just kept thinking how much she would cherish another day with her daughter. I bet even if that day looked like one of my bad days.

So tonight, as I sit here enjoying the quiet evening, compliments.ts of the time change, I am overcome with gratefulness for the blessings in my life, yes…even including PANDAS. Strep is a 4 letter word in my book, but I am so thankful that it only brought a pediatric life altering, but treatable disease to our family, instead of a life ending one.

– Kat

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